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Kees Kager

Kaft van Het ZwanenwaterDe Koorzangers Vrouwenhandel, drugstransport en gedwongen prostitutie behoren niet tot het vocabulaire van Gerard Dekker, een brave docent in het middelbaar beroepsonderwijs. Voor zijn ontspanning zingt hij in een koor, zoals veel van zijn collega’s en vrienden. Het koorleven biedt hem een welkome afleiding van de probleemjongeren waar hij overdag mee te maken heeft. Maar met de komst van een jonge sopraan verdwijnt de ontspanning algauw, als blijkt dat zijn lastige pupil Pita haar gewetenloze loverboy is. Lees verder...

In de week

Logboek @ 24 Oct 2009

De promotie voor een boek verzorgen betekent hard werken, maar het levert ook veel leuke contacten op. Zo belde ik in de week van de herfstvakantie naar de dirigent van het RK Kerkkoor in Anna Paulowna. Ik wilde daar in het kader van mijn campagne namelijk graag een keer langs om tijdens de repetitie een praatje over ‘De koorzangers’ te houden en in de pauze mijn boek te verkopen.
Sinds het verschijnen van mijn tweede roman ben ik elke week wel een avondje op bezoek bij een koor in de wijde regio. Soms met praatje, soms zonder. Net wat het bestuur van het koor met mij afspreekt.
De dirigent van ‘Anna Paulowna’ heet Jos van Kuijeren. Hij was een en al enthousiasme, had zelf mijn boek al gelezen. Tot mijn verrassing begon hij me vragen te stellen over mijn broer Piet met wie hij in het verleden op het Canisius-lyceum in Alkmaar had gezeten. Ik kon Jos melden dat mijn geleerde broer vorig jaar een loopbaan als professor Tropische Geneeskunde had afgesloten. Maar laten we Jos zelf niet uitvlakken… koordirigent is één ding, maar we kennen hem bijna llemaal als verslaggever van Studio Sport bij het zwemmen. Of niet soms?
U raadt het al. Ik mag in Anna Paulowna langskomen met mijn boek. Dit zijn voor een schrijver leuke dingen om mee te maken. Vooraf wat promotiemateriaal langsbrengen zodat de koorleden kunnen lezen waar het allemaal over gaat. En op de avond zelve hebben de koristen veelal zin in het boek gekregen. Want dat is zo met Westfriezen. Een besluit moet eerst in de week. Daarna neemt dit eigenzinnige volkje het verstandige besluit om tot aanschaf over te gaan.

Het commentaar

Columns @ 24 Oct 2009

Eindeloos, werkelijk eindeloos kan een mens genieten van de wijze en onwijze commentaren langs de lijn. Het maakt niks uit of het F-pupillen of professionals betreft. Ouders zijn komisch:
“Naar voren, jongens!”
Maar ook om Louis van Gaal die college geeft aan het verzamelde journaille kunnen we lachen:
“Kwaliteit is het uitsluiten van toeval. Het kan een optie zijn om op safe te spelen, om defensief garanties in te bouwen. Niet om de contrôlefreak uit te hangen, maar met zijn allen achter de bal blijven kan vruchten afwerpen. En nou jullie weer.”
Toen Timon nog F-je was genoten duocoach Carlo en ik altijd bar van de coaches van FC Helder. In vol ornaat betraden de mannen het veld. Trainingspak, jack van de club en schrijfblok in de aanslag. Ze dansten de hele wedstrijd langs de lijn.
“Uit elkaar!” riep de een.
“Helpt elkaar!” riep de ander.
“Hij mag erin, hoor!” kreeg het joch dat een kans miste te horen.
“Zeg goochem, staan je benen binnenstebuiten?” als een spelertje de bal verkeerd raakte.
“Niet allemaal er naartoe!”
Maar ja, wie is allemaal? Hoe moet je als effie weten wat ze langs de kant bedoelen? Beslissen dat jij tot de paar spelers behoort die er wel naartoe moeten? Of voeg je je bij de meerderheid die er vooral niet naartoe moet? Lastige afweging.
Coaches, ouders, stopt u maar met roepen. De kinderen horen uw aanwijzingen in 98% van de gevallen niet. U kunt roepen wat u wilt. De effies kunnen zich maar op één ding concentreren en dat is de bal.
“Jongens, kijkt dan toch uit!”
“Wie houdt zijn mannetje?”
U vindt geen gehoor. Ze zijn er doof voor.

Ook tv-commentatoren kunnen er wat van. Onlangs bij RKC-Heracles (0-1), een dramatisch slechte wedstrijd. Een speler excuseert zich tegenover zijn teamgenoten voor een volkomen foute pass. Wat zegt de verslaggever van Studio Sport?
“Wat een beroerde pass. En nu excuseert hij zich voor deze slechte bal. Nou, dat hoeft hij niet te doen. Zijn medespelers leveren ook elke bal in bij de tegenstander.”
Vader en zoon lagen slap van het lachen voor de buis, zo droog. Na afloop zegt de commentator tegen Bas Dost:
“Deze wedstrijd verdiende geen goal, vind je ook niet?”
“Nou” zegt Bas, “Ik vond van wel, want ik was de matchwinner.”
Timon en ik opnieuw onderuit. De code wil dat we elkaar dan kreten toeroepen die we langs de lijn hebben opgepikt. Lachen na elke oneliner.
“Maak meters, Timon!”
“Pak je rust, pap.”
“Vloeren!”
“Scheids, moet je mijn bril effe lenen?!”
“Domineren, Tiem, domineren!”
“Gebruik je charisma, pap.”
“Hup, groene leeuwen!”
“Zet ‘m op, jongens, naar voren.”
“Toe dan toch, de beuk erin, het is je moeder niet!”
“Met zo’n verdediging heb je geen tegenstander nodig.”
“O jochie, waarom zit jij op voetbal?”
“Wat is dat voor DSB-bal?”
Timon citeert graag Jules Deelder:
“Alleen als God eens gek wil doen
wojdt Spajta wejeldkampioen.”
En een hele fraaie hoorde ik afgelopen zondag:
“Het lijkt hier de groenvoorziening wel. Het is hier schoffelen, schoffelen en nog eens schoffelen!”

Koren(promotie)slag

Logboek @ 21 Oct 2009

Het was een mooie fietsrit vanuit mijn rustieke enclave Valkkoog langs de kust naar het niet minder fraaie Bakkum in het duingebied achter Castricum. Alleen al daarom was het de moeite waard om mijn boodschap persoonlijk bij hem te bezorgen. Helemaal mooi zou het zijn als hij de inhoud van mijn pakketje zou willen bekijken. Of was ik erg naief?
Wie was op deze heerlijke dag in de herfstvakantie mijn doelwit? Ik zal het u verklappen. Het was Henny Huisman, de man van EO’s Korenslag, van muziek in het algemeen. In een soort van brainwave was ik op het idee gekomen om Henny een exemplaar van mijn roman ‘De koorzangers’ te bezorgen. Ongeacht hoe het af zou lopen had ik onmiddellijk een goed gevoel bij dit idee. Henny staat bekend als een ‘gewone jongen’ . Ik vind hem op de buis altijd heel naturel en sympathiek overkomen. En ik schatte hem in als een toegankelijk BN-er.
En die verwachting werd bewaarheid. Niet dat ik hem gesproken heb. En er stond in de zwanenwaterachtige ambiance heus niemand op me te wachten. Maar ik kwam wel bij mijn doel. Ik moest in Bakkum een paar maal navraag doen, maar ik vond de toegangsweg naar Henny’s villa. Het perceel was hermetisch afgesloten, er werd met bordjes gewezen op honden en videocamera’s. Edoch, op mijn druk op de knop van de intercom verscheen een mevrouw aan het hek. Zij was bijzonder vriendelijk. Ze wilde mijn dikke enveloppe met plezier in ontvangst nemen en aan Henny overhandigen. Ik bedankte haar hartelijk en stapte weer op de fiets.
Toen ik thuiskwam schakelde ik mijn computer in. Tot mijn verbazing zat er een bericht in de mailbox van H. Huisman. Ik vond het geweldig!

“Hallo Kees,
Hartelijk dank voor je boek, ik ga het zeker lezen, de titel is voor mij veelbelovend!
Heel veel succes met alles,
Vriendelijke groet,
Henny Huisman.”

Wenen in Holland

Logboek @ 7 Oct 2009

Ik stapte maandag vroeg in de avond in de auto voor een ritje naar Oudorp. Het was donker, het was fris en de wegen spiegelden. Het regende pijpenstelen. Het was letterlijk ‘wenen in Holland’ wat ik buiten de beslotenheid van de cabine aanschouwde. Ik hoopte maar dat het snertweer geen voorbode was van wat me op deze avond te wachten stond.
Niets was minder waar. Het werd een geweldige avond. Ik mocht op bezoek bij smartlappenkoor ‘Wenen in Holland’. Een zusterkoor van Liederlijk uit Schagen , ook gedirigeerd door musicus Henk Bakker. Het was de bedoeling dat ik mijn roman ‘De koorzangers’ zou promoten en dan weer wegwezen. Het werd… zeg maar gerust een feestje. Een uur meezingen. Toen een praatje houden en boeken verkopen. En na de pauze nog een uur meegalmen met Lieveling, L.O.V.E., Troubadour, Anna Paulowna, Slavenkoor, Vrijgezel en nog veel meer. Vooral het nummer Vuile huichelaar is me bijgebleven. De soliste keek mij tijdens haar uitvoering doordringend aan. Dit tot vermaak van de koorleden. Na ruim twee uur liederen met de zakdoek had ik het end in de bek, om het even op zijn Westfries te zeggen. Na afloop nog even een biertje en napraten en toen weer op huis aan. Zo wil ik nog veel vaker op promotietour!
In het Gastenboek van de website van’Wenen in Holland’ heb ik vandaag het volgende stukje achtergelaten:

Bovenstebeste leden van Wenen in Holland,
Bedankt dat ik maandag 5 oktober j.l. bij jullie op de repetitie mocht komen om ‘De koorzangers’ te promoten. Het was heerlijk om een avond met jullie koor mee te zingen. Het was ook leuk om in de pauze zoveel klandizie te krijgen. Het was voor mij trouwens een verrassing dat een aantal van jullie het boek al eerder hadden gekocht. Bij binnenkomst in Partycentrum Meereboer kwamen er al mensen op mij af die het boek uit hadden en er ’skoftig’ van genoten hadden. Kijk, daar doe ik het voor!
Er zijn me op het avondje WIH een paar dingen opgevallen die ik jullie nog even wil toevertrouwen. Ten eerste: wat een heerlijk sfeertje hing er op dit koor. Het kwam blij, vertrouwd en gezellig over. Houdt dat vast! Ten tweede: wat wordt er hard gewerkt op zo’n avond. Jullie dirigent is een slavendrijver. Past op dat hij van jullie geen slavenkoor maakt! Ten derde: jullie zijn een koor van zang, maar ook van beweging. Daar valt meer mee te doen! Ten vierde: de mevrouw die mij voor ‘huichelaar’ uitmaakte moet oppassen. Ik ken sinds mijn roman ‘De koorzangers’ veel koristen, maar ook veel criminelen. Ik hoef maar een seintje te geven en ze doen een karweitje voor me…
Bestuur en leden van WIH, en niet te vergeten leidsman Henk Bakker, geniet van elkaar, geniet van de muziek (en na maandag) ook allemaal van mijn boek. Het ga jullie goed!

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